He's Growing Up!

I'm not sure if it's going to get easier or harder with the middle and youngest children, but I'm feeling so sentimental about Camden finishing up his preschool experience.  When we started last year, after just turning four years old, he had a really difficult transition.  Having been home with me full-time for four full years, even attending preschool just two mornings a week was a huge adjustment for both of us.  He was timid, shy, nervous and for a couple weeks he screamed and cried when I said goodbye and left.  It was truly heartbreaking. 

Look how nervous he was on the first day!  Fall 2012

Thankfully, my friend who was one of his teachers would text or call me when he settled down - usually within a few minutes - but it was still devastating to walk away when he was so upset.  I would sit in the car in a nearby parking lot and cry.  After a couple of weeks, he settled into a routine and he's been happy at his little school ever since.

Camden has grown so incredibly much these last two years.  He has grown from that crying, nervous, timid child to a confident, funny, smart little boy.  We are so proud of how far he's come and we know that his preschool was the perfect fit for him in so many ways. 

We're feeling especially teary as Micah will be attending a different preschool next year.  Though we loved the Montessori school sooo much, we are choosing to send Micah to a school that is much closer to home.  We were driving 22-25 minutes each way to bring Camden to preschool and it wasn't fair to be dragging the younger children back and forth in the car so much.  With Camden starting Kindergarten at the public school in town I didn't want to be pulled in so many directions.  We'll be saving a lot of time, money and gas, so my practical husband is thrilled, but I'm a bit weepy over the whole thing. 

People have been asking how Camden is handling this transition of finishing up his preschool and preparing for Kindergarten and I have to say that he is very aware of it and has been really articulate with his feelings.  He expresses how nervous he is for Kindergarten, but also talks about the fun playground and how he'll get to make lots of new friends.  He's nervous about it being five full days a week, but is excited to be closer to home and be able to walk or ride his bike to school in the mornings.  Last night he prayed, "God, I pray that you will help me not to be afraid and that you will give me courage during my play tomorrow night." And at dinner tonight he turned to me and said, "Thank you so much, Mama, for sending me to my preschool.  I love it there and I'm really going to miss it."

We attended the "closing ceremonies" tonight where the whole crew (combined classroom with ages 3-6) put on a little play and sang a few songs.  It was hilarious and sweet and adorable.  Camden's little voice rang out above the rest as he unofficially helped lead the songs.  I was one of those annoyingly proud Mama's with a video camera in one hand and a real camera in the other.  I couldn't help it.  My baby boy is growing up and his sweet glances our way and toothless smile were tugging at my heartstrings.  Apparently, I wasn't the only one feeling nostalgic and teary.  After the ceremony was over and we had snapped some photos and said goodbye to his teachers, we started to head towards the door.  Scott found Camden in the unlit coat area standing in front of his cubby wiping tears away.  He was trying so hard not to cry, but a few tears trickled down his cheeks.  He told Scott he was feeling sad and said, "I'm really going to miss school."  Such a little sweetheart.  Scott and I both explained to him that it's OK to feel sad.  And that it's OK to cry.  Leaving a place you love is never an easy thing to do.  Scott asked if he'd like to bring his name tag home that was taped into his cubby and he thought that would help him feel better - as long as I asked Ms. Tammie's permission first!  :)  We ended the night with smiles and he proudly read a card I had written to him out loud.  We found a special spot in his room to hang his beautiful star that he had decorated when he first started preschool last year and was cut down and given to him tonight, his special necklace that Ms. Tammie made for him and the card he received from Scott and me.

Scott and I were talking about all of these feelings and emotions after we got the kids to bed tonight and Scott said, "Camden is going to be an amazing husband and daddy someday."  I couldn't agree more.  He's a wonderful little boy and I'm so glad he's mine.

Last Day of Preschool...

Kids paint these stars during their first week of school and then don't get cut down until the child is leaving for kindergarten...

 Little pigs...

 Getting his necklace from Ms. Tammie...

 Camden was blessed with three wonderful teachers.  Here he is with Ms. Tammie...

 ...and Ms. Kasia...

 ...and Ms. Julie...

 One of his best buddies...

 Proud parents...

 The whole fam...

 My baby is growing up!

 Another buddy...

 A little present at home...

 He just opened it up and read the whole thing out loud...

 

 Here's a short video of him showing off his things and reading his card...

Now time to start getting him excited about Kindergarten!  On to the next adventure!

Kindergarten is Coming!!!

My baby is growing up.  And I'm not sure I'm ready yet!  My mind has been consumed this last month or so with the reality that my sweet little Camden is going to be a Kindergartener at the local public school in the fall!  How is this possible?  Wasn't he just born?  I mean, honestly, I feel like I just graduated from college, and yet I'll be celebrating my 10th reunion this fall and some of my former advisees who were freshman when I was teaching at Proctor are graduating college this spring!  Somehow time has marched on and I'm just not quite ready to embrace it.

For a long time Scott and I faced a decision that needed to be made about our boys' education.  With Camden having a mid-August birthday and Micah's birthday falling on September 30th (which is the cutoff day in our town) we needed to make a choice about whether we wanted them to be the very youngest in their classes or one of the oldest.  After lots of research, talking to friends with older children and teachers who we respect and taking into consideration our kids personalities, we decided to give both Camden and Micah another year of preschool before starting Kindergarten which means they will be turning six at the start of the year instead of five.  For many different reasons, this decision made the most sense for our family - and no, it's not so that they can dominate in sports among their peers as seems to be the assumption about families who make this decision.

After two wonderful years in his little Montessori school - where he attended two mornings a week last year and three mornings a week this year - Camden will be starting full-day Kindergarten in the fall.  A transition that I'm kind of freaking out about deep down inside.  I know that kids can sense stress in their parents, and I don't want to put that on Camden at all, and I have to say I'm doing a relatively good job of hiding it, but it's all such a big deal I can't help but feel nervous!  After three 3.5 hour mornings a week he'll be transitioning to five days from 7:40-2:45!  Whew! That's a lot of school!  At 5.5 years old, he's still napping most afternoons and still falls asleep early at night!  He's going to be exhausted!  He taught himself to read this winter (literally...I have no idea how it happened he just started reading!) and is able to pretty much pick up anything and read it.  He'll sit for 45 minutes on the couch with Micah reading Gerald and Piggy, Frog and Toad, Dr. Seuss, Little Bear and tons of other books out loud to his brother.  Although we're not worried about him academically, I know he's going to be challenged in many other areas - socially, making new friends, learning how to interact in new settings, how to stand up for himself and do what's right etc...

We attended his Kindergarten registration at the school last week and many of my fears and anxieties were put to rest.  We were both nervous that morning, and we've had a lot of good talks recently about how feeling nervous and excited often go together and it's OK to feel that way!  Sometimes we're nervous about new experiences, but the feeling will usually go away after the newness wears off.  I knew they were going to take the kids on their own for a bit while the parents got some information on the school and I was so scared that he would be clinging to my leg and not want to leave me...but he did great!!!  Phew!!!  We had an opportunity to meet both of the kindergarten teachers, the principle and assistant principle, the reading specialist, the school nurse and various other staff members.  Scott and I were both really impressed with all the adults we met and just feel like it's a really great school.  The building houses all grades K-8 with two classes per grade level.  It's the same little small school that I attended as a child with the same secretary and at least one of the same teachers!  I had a wonderful experience there, and I know my kids will too!  Thankfully, there were only 22 kids on the list for next year's class which means that even if a few more children move to the area, the class sizes will be really small!  The teachers always do their best to meet the needs of the students - both the ones that fall behind and the ones who are ahead and we left the session feeling excited to be a part of this great community.  Camden had a great time and is saying that he's really excited to start Kindergarten in the fall.  I know I'll be a weepy mess on the first few days of school, but I'm hopeful that he'll make a smooth transition and that we're doing the right thing for our boy.  He always makes me so proud to be his Mama and I'm excited to see what the future holds for him!

Camden with his two best friends at preschool.  He loves his girls!  

He's playing T-Ball for the first time this year and it's pretty precious to see him in this setting...

 I get this look often...

I love my Bubba!

Closing Ceremony

Camden just finished his first year of preschool and we couldn't be more proud of the growth that we've seen in our little man this year.  He was so tentative and so nervous before school started in the fall.  His birthday is in August and he kept telling us that he didn't want to have his birthday because he didn't want to turn four and have to go to preschool!  Poor little guy!  It was a big transition for him!  After being by Mama's side for four straight years of his life he was suddenly expected to experience something new and scary all on his own!  He only attended school two mornings a week, but it was a perfect amount of time for him.  He still had days home with his buddy, Micah, but he was also having an experience all of his own.  We had three days early on in September where he would cling to me and cry and say that he wasn't going to stay (he was more being stubborn than anything else...I had to tear myself away from him and reassure him that he would be just fine).  But when I climbed into the car I was the one who wasn't sure if I was going to make it.  Luckily, his teachers were amazing and would call me as soon as he settled down so that I would know he was OK and could move on with my day.  Those three days were so challenging, but even though it felt like it was going to go on like that forever, within a week or so he stopped crying and said goodbye without any tears.  By the end of the year he was confident, excited about learning, had new friends (mostly adorable little girls...hmmm...), loved his teachers and can't wait to go back next year and be a leader and helper as one of the oldest kids in the multi-age classroom.  (Although he makes the cutoff date for Kindergarten, he would be very young for his class and we have decided to give him one more year of preschool before sending him on his way.  I have lots of thoughts and reasoning behind this, but that is another post altogether.  Coming your way soon!)

Look at the difference between these two photos.  He did a lot of growing up this year!

Last week we attended Camden's closing ceremony where he and his friends performed a couple songs.  Camden's special role was as a Stop Sign in the song "Kookaburra" - it was pretty precious!  We were so lucky that my Mom and Grandma Sylvia, as well as Scott's parents and cousin, Nate, were all able to join us for the special evening!  Camden was SO proud and did an amazing job (he was seriously leading the entire class in the song)!

 The stage...

 Stop Signs!  Stop, Kookaburra, Stop Kookabura!

 So proud of himself!

 Camden's friend who is moving on to kindergarten receiving her necklace and star...

 Here is Camden's star.  It will be cut down at next year's closing ceremony when he moves on to kindergarten...

 Camden and his best friend...

 Love this boy...

 After the ceremony, we took the boys for an ice cream at Dairy Queen...they were pretty excited!

We are so thankful that we found such an incredible place for our children to have their first educational experience.  Red Oak is a safe, caring, nurturing, challenging and all around amazing environment and we are so excited for Micah and Sadie have these wonderful experiences as well in the future!  Thanks for a great year Red Oak Montessori!!!

joy amidst the sadness

The thing about grieving is that the world around you just keeps moving on.  When your world seems like it's come to a complete stop, or at least you feel like it should, there are still kids to take care of, laundry to fold, snow to shovel, appointments to go to and the list goes on and on...  Here is a little peek into some of the "normalcy" that we're trying maintain around here...

The meadow below our house was completely frozen over and the boys had a blast playing on the ice...
 Buddies...

  You can see our little row of three houses on our street in the background.  I love this place that we call home!

We took a fun family adventure to the See Science Center in Manchester and the boys had a blast...

 The awesome Lego replica of Manchester back in the day...

My 33 week belly (3 weeks ago)!

Now that I'm not spending every waking minute with my Dad, I'm trying to turn my attention and love to little Baby Goose.  Here's her crib that she'll probably never sleep in if she's anything like her brothers who just want to be next to Mama...

We had a huge snow storm the weekend right before my Dad's service...and he LOVED snow, so we got outside and enjoyed it!  We went for a walk into town together for donuts at the start of the storm...

 This is what we woke up to the next morning...

We celebrated Camden's half birthday!  Have I really been a Mom for 4.5 years?!?!  Crazy.

Camden wanted to dress like Daddy for church last week...My Carhartt boys!

Grieving, laughter, family, sadness, joy, adventure...all part of our day to day life right now.