If you have a minute,
click here to watch a three minute clip from Good Morning America to get a little background on this post...
This advertisement, which was sent out to J Crew customers in a recent email, has created quite a stir. I'm sure many of you have heard about it. The ad shows the President and Creative Director of J Crew painting her son's toenails pink. Oh the outrage this simple picture has created! One psychiatrist wrote on a Foxnews.com column, “This is a dramatic example of the way that our culture is being encouraged to abandon all trappings of gender identity.” Another woman from the Media Research Center called the ad, “blatant propaganda celebrating transgendered children.” Are you kidding me? Maybe it's the sociologist in me, but this kind of commentary makes my blood boil. First of all, what child wouldn't find nail polish fun to play with? Kids like to paint. Kids like to make messes. Kids like to dress up. Kids like to imitate their elders. Girls and boys...what's the difference?
Secondly, I'm pretty sure I know plenty of very masculine men who were dressed up by their older sisters when they were little and turned out just fine. The concept that at such a young age, girls are only to play with "girl toys" and boys are only allowed to play with "boy toys" drives me nuts. I'm not gonna lie, Camden
loves trucks. He loves getting dirty. He seems to be a natural athlete. He is very physical. But, he is also sensitive. He loves to read. He loves to sing and dance. He loves to snuggle. He loves to push Buddy (his little felted bunny) or Green Monkey (creative name, huh?) around in his stroller (
gasp!) and the other day he pretended to be pregnant with twins and put stuffed animals down his pjs (
double gasp! Yes, our friends just gave birth to twins...Camden wanted in on the excitement!). Are we setting our child up for a lifetime of torment? Does playing with a stuffed animal or even a
doll mean that our two and a half year old is going to automatically be gay? OR are we allowing our child to learn to play. To create. To imagine. The way he takes care of his little stuffed animals and tells me to be quiet when they are "sleeping" makes me think that he's going to make a pretty great Daddy someday (and he already is a great older brother!). Is there something
wrong with allowing our sons to develop a sensitive side?
And I'm not on my own with this one. Scott and I were watching an episode of
What Would You Do? on television recently that tackled a similar topic. Hidden cameras captured how people reacted to seeing a young boy in a toy store begging for a doll. They then took it a step further and had the little boy wearing a dress. Scott and I were glued to the show, discussing different people's reactions to the situation and how we would handle something like that ourselves. I said something to the effect of, "I would have no problem with Camden playing dressup and wearing a dress at home or at a friend's house, but I'm not sure I'd want him to walk around in public like that." Scott shocked me with his response: "Why not? He's two years old...it really doesn't mean anything."
Let's be clear here, I'm not going to actively encourage my son to wear dresses and paint his toenails, but I'm also not going to judge those parents who do. And I'm not going to make assumptions about those little boys and their sexuality. And I'm not going to stifle my child's imagination, just because he might be crossing gender barriers with the toys he chooses to play with. I'm kind of proud that among the matchbox cars, fire trucks, train tracks, hockey sticks and blocks that litter our house, you can also find a "doll" stroller, stuffed animals, and a little doll who likes to have his imaginary diaper changed.
Camden brought Buddy and his stroller with him when we ran a few errands last week. We were quite the pair with our two strollers and we received so many smiles from friends and strangers alike as we walked around the stores. People struck up conversation with him and wanted to see his little toy. He was proud. And so was I.
What do you think? Do/would you let your children play with toys that aren't marketed to their specific gender? Do you think there will be long-term effects on allowing children this freedom?
