Soccer and My Dad

As most of you know, the game of soccer is one of my greatest passions in life.  I have spent hundreds (actually probably thousands) of hours on the field, in the car/bus traveling to games, practicing on my own, playing pick-up, playing in high school, college and one season as a reserve on a semi-pro team.  I love the game, and I owe ALL of this to my Dad.  He, too, had a passion for the sport that many people could not understand.  He played through college and on summer teams through his early 40's.  I remember going to his games as a kid and running the lines as a ball girl, cheering for him and being so impressed that my Dad was such a stud on the field!  I can't even begin to add up all the hours he spent with me kicking around together, driving me to try-outs and games, watching almost every single game I played in and "talking soccer" together.

This is one area where I know I'm really going to miss my Dad.  It's a special part of our relationship that he didn't share with just anyone. and it's already happened a number of times.  I was lucky enough to go with a friend to hear Julie Foudy (17 year veteran of the Women's National Team and captain of the famed 1999 World Cup Championship team) speak at Dartmouth College last week.  She was amazing - so well spoken and funny - and I felt like a little kid giddy with excitement at seeing her and being so close to her in person!  I was thinking of my Dad the whole time and how much I wished I could go home and tell him all about it.  In recounting the experience to a few friends the other night I just started crying.  Honestly, I don't break down in tears very often, and this seems like such a trivial thing to set me off, but it just made me miss my Dad so much.  A few days later I was doing my walk (or should I say 37-week-pregnant-waddle) on the treadmill at Proctor and watching an English Premier League game on TV.

My Dad loved to watch soccer and we would sit together commenting on the play.  Ever since I was little I would ask what team he was rooting for and root for the same team as him (and I still did that up until he passed away - now I'm like a lost soul not knowing who to root for anymore!).  I can't wait for summer soccer this summer - I'll be a few months post-partum and can't wait to get out there and get back in shape playing against a bunch of other local soccer friends - but I know I'm going to be so emotional about it every time I ever step foot on a soccer field again.  My Dad was such a major part of my life in this way and I know I will miss him with every touch of the ball.
My Dad was not only a wonderful player and an incredible mentor for me in my soccer career...He influenced SO many girls through his coaching and his love of the game.  Many of his former players came to his service to celebrate his life and so many have reached out to our family during this time.  In the reception hall after the service, we had a bulletin board full of different tributes from various people in his life and a few of the one's we included were from former players.  I don't think many people had the chance to see these tributes and I wanted to include a few of them here so that I can always remember what an impact he had on these young women and what an impact coaches of any sport can have on their athletes.  Someday maybe I'll get back into the coaching scene.  If I can impact any teenagers the way my Dad did, my life would be a success.

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Benny,
I could write pages to you about the type of person you are, the impact you have had on my life, and the legacy that will always live, but it still would not be enough.  There are very few people on this earth that live the way you do.  Having you as a coach meant more to me than just your title.  Soccer was just an added bonus to what you brought to my life.  You taught me to smile, not give up, work hard, stay positive, believe in myself.  There are very few people that teenage girls will listen too...you had that gift.  You have so many gifts.  Everywhere you go and everyone you meet is given a gift  - meeting you.  Your laugh is larger than life.  I am forever grateful that you and your amazing family were brought into my life.  I truly feel so lucky.  Your family is so strong and have so much faith and love for others - how did you create such a beautiful thing?  You must be so proud!  I only hope my husband and I can provide that same love and strength for our daughter.  I love you, Benny.  You are phenomenal.  How lucky we all are to have walked this life together, with you.  I am so grateful.
-  Former KRHS Soccer Player
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Since hearing about the health concerns that you have been going through, I have spent lots of time thinking about you and praying for you.  I’ve spent time thinking about preseason sprints across the soccer field, having theological discussions with you on long bus rides to away games, and soccer games under the lights on cold fall nights.  As a high school student, having you as a soccer coach made my four years playing soccer so meaningful.  I always felt so supported by you, both when things were going well for me and when they were not.  I never felt like my value as a person depended on my value as a soccer player on any given day.  Thank you for always making me feel valued and cared for during those years.  

I don’t think that my experience was much different from the experience that many girls on the team had, with the exception that they didn’t always understand the reason.  I knew that the reason that you have so much joy in everything you do, the reason you loved each person so authentically, and the reason you valued each girl so much, was because of the love your Savior gave to you; it just pours out over everybody you spend time with.  I knew that when girls were spending time with you and working on improving themselves as soccer players, they were, more importantly, coming into contact with the love Christ had for them.  Few people I have known in my life have demonstrated on a daily basis what it looks like to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love others as oneself as well as you do.  I count myself blessed for having seen your example of how to live in the Gospel.
 - Former KRHS soccer player
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Dearest Benny,
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I should have a million memories of you on the sidelines of the soccer field, but truthfully its all a blur. (Albeit a happy one.)
Instead, I remember a conversation. I can't remember all the details but you must have been driving me home from a practice. We talked about "life" in the parking lot of the Argus Champion in NL - what seems like a lifetime ago.
You told me about how you and Cindy decided together what kind of life you wanted... not big cars and houses but a simple life... With that framework agreed upon - you had to prioritize, there were sacrifices. Maybe no vacations in Tahiti, but instead a little house in the country... Two girls...grand kids... Love...
It's a conversation that has framed how I look at my life. While my choices may be different (a bit too many trips abroad) I've always understood the balance required... The need to prioritize...
Thank you for being there during the most formative moments of my life.
- Former KRHS Soccer Player
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Thank you, Dad, for not only shaping my life in this way, but for shaping so many other young women.  For teaching us to have confidence in ourselves, for helping shape an identity for us when so many teens feel lost, for showing us that our worth isn't wrapped up in our success on the field but that we are much more valuable than that.  Thank you for sharing this passion with me and I will ALWAYS remember you when I'm on that field.  I love you.