It truly is the end of an era. When I gave birth to Camden I knew I wanted to breastfeed him. I had done my research and I knew of the incredible benefits to both baby and mother that resulted from nursing. He was a quick learner and we never had any issues - in fact he was the baby who nursed every two hours around the clock. Did this get tiring? Yes, occasionally...but I never got resentful. I treasured the moments we had together and the fact that I completely sustained him and watched him grow before my own eyes for the first six months of his life solely by breastfeeding him was absolutely fascinating to me. A true miracle.
Camden nursed multiple times a day (and night) through Christmas of this year (about 16.5 months) when we slowly started cutting feedings until recently when he was only nursing once in the morning (unfortunately, Camden is a VERY early riser so this was usually sometime between 4:30 and 5:00). I was tentative to drop this last feeding completely...would it ruin the incredible bond that we have built between us? Would he still be my little snugglebug even without getting "the good stuff" in return? He has only been seriously sick once in his lifetime, would he stay as healthy without nursing? It's hard to see your little baby growing up, but I felt like it was time. Nursing while pregnant is not the most comfortable thing. I did it for 4 months, but it wasn't very fun.
I also felt the need to have a few months off and have my body to myself before starting all over again with our next little one. Camden was less dependent on me than he had been in the past, and I honestly felt like he would be ready to transition if I initiated it.
So, the time has come. Last Wednesday we didn't nurse for the first time ever. He asked for it with his precious little sign language, but I explained to him again (we had prepped him a little in the days leading up to it) that "Mommy's nursies went bye-bye." We sang a little song about it that we had made up and on Day One he definitely shed some tears (and I was trying not to join him!), but by Day Two, he asked for it, but didn't cry. We are now on Day Six and he's doing great. He still does his sign occasionally, but doesn't shed any tears over it and seems to be adjusting just fine.
My baby is all grown up and it's hard for me to adjust to the idea that he doesn't "need" me the way he used to. I'm thankful we shared this experience together and I'm glad I was able to give him such a healthy start to life. If I'm this sad about this, what is it going to be like dropping him off for his first day of school!?!?! Ugh...I can't even begin to think about that without tearing up.
PS - Camden is going to love this post when he's fifteen! :) Someday he'll appreciate it though.
